Yesterday was a very tough day for me,
a very tough day. All
three of my kiddos had their first day of school, my youngest started Kindergarten, and although I tried so hard to prepare myself, I wasn't. I'm not sure what I expected. Taking all three of them in for their first day of school, walking out without any of them. I couldn't have possibly imagined how it would make me feel.
There were several times this Summer when my kids were so wound up and noisy, that vacuuming was my only retreat to having just a little stretch of time to think clearly. I remember one particular day while I was vacuuming when I daydreamed about life with all of them in school. I would read books again, go for long walks alone, sew all day without interruption, go on coffee dates with friends and day trips with my husband when he had a weekday off. We could get kayaks? Kayaks would be fun!
I imagined that it would be peaceful. That I would feel like I could breathe easier. And then the day came.
I came home, a complete mess of emotions. Feeling the weight of realizing that this new chapter was here whether I was ready or not, that my baby days were officially over, feeling complete disbelief that this time was here so soon. It was hard to breathe. How were we here? It just didn't seem possible.
Kevin, who is home recovering from a surgery he had this past Friday, was completely sweet trying to make me feel
not crazy. We drank coffee, while I unloaded. I shared the pictures I took of the kids. I felt better, so he went to lay down. It was silent. And, instead of doing any of the things I had dreamed about. I vacuumed. This time to escape the silence.
I worked my way up to my sewing room, which was nearly abandoned this last month. How could I sew without my brood. Without my little girl who was on my lap the very first time I turned my sewing machine on. I couldn't begin to tell you what a huge part of all of this she has been. My anything but silent partner in this sewing adventure. The decider of unsure fabric selections and so many of my daily projects. I could make something for them and cry the whole time. I could work on a number of different projects that
needed to be made.
And there it was. Someone to sew for. An unexpected gift, just at the right time! A follower and friend of this blog knew.. somehow ..exactly what I needed. And I am so
grateful!
This quilt was gifted to me from Jodi. It traveled all the way from Australia and arrived perfectly, with a card so sweet and wonderful, I can't even begin to tell you. From the little bit I have shared here about
my struggles, Jodi has kept me in her thoughts and added me to her prayers. Out of pure kindness, she decided that this beautiful quilt should be for me.
How could she possibly know how much I would need it? And, then I read
her post and I was even more amazed. She really did.
And, so I knew just what to do. I would start a new quilt for Jodi. A friendship quilt full of
our favorite Anna Maria Horner fabrics, love, and appreciation for giving me a great project to start off sewing solo and so much more.
Thank you so much Jodi! And thank you ALL for the well wishes you left me here and for all the
facebook messages and emails you have sent me throughout these last few weeks!
While we all adjust, I am so happy to have and to be back in this space with all of you!
♥, Maureen
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