First, thank you so much for all the comments and emails the last two days, you're all so very sweet! I hated to be so vague on Monday, but I wasn't sure how I should go about explaining the behind-the-scenes situation with me. It would have been easy if I shared more personal stories from the beginning of this blogging adventure. But since I decided this would just be a positive, Creative Journal for myself, I never knew quite how to segue into any of the struggles/negative things I have been going through, throughout these last two years of blogging. I am still not sure? I am, however, certain that we ALL have our own struggles. Be it financial problems, relationship difficulties, health and personal struggles, loss... We all share that fact. Just as we share our love of beautiful fabrics and yarns, and our creative plans and projects. We all make a choice to share these things we see as beautiful, along with our passion to inspire and enjoy that which we love and have in common with one another. After spending almost two years sharing all of those things, today I need to share the other.
Are you still reading? o.k. here it goes...
-- Throughout these last two years, I found out that I will be living with a few different Auto Immune Diseases. I am on a thyroid replacement medication and a gluten free diet because of them. Now that enough time has gone by since I started my diet, I feel so much better. It's not an easy diet. If you are gluten free, you know this. But if you are gluten free due to allergy or intolerance of gluten, you know how much better it feels to be living gluten free. It's SO worth it!
-- I found out more recently that I have type 2 diabetes. It's not bad to the point where I need insulin, but I currently do need medication and have chosen to restrict my daily carb and sugar intake to almost nothing as a way to try to improve my status. I truly believe this will help!
-- And finally, I found out even more recently that my Immune System is attacking my own skin. "It" has a name, but to avoid any of you googling "it" and becoming horrified, I'll keep the name of "it" to myself. Why is this happening to me? We have no idea. We know it's not from the above. That's all. Which means lots of more tests for me. I have been on medication since Dec. 1st and the appointment I wrote of Monday was to see if it was working, or if I would have to begin strong Immunosuppressant drugs, as well. Which could/would be awful! My doctor said, in strange Dr. analogy talk, "It's chipping away at it now. If you go on the Cellcept or Cyclosporine, it will hammer at it, if you go on the Methotrexate, it will be like taking a sledge hammer to it. With stronger meds, comes much worse side effects. It's up to you." Me, "Chipping away is fine." :)
-- The good news, chipping away at it is working, maybe not as fast as the other options, but it's working and I am tolerating the medication just fine with few side effects. That might not always be the case, I'll revisit my need to change that every 30 days at a new appointment. Today, I take comfort in knowing that none of the things I have are contagious. I can continue hugging on my loves a little more than they like. I can continue to make my handmades and can continue to share them with others.
-- The bad news -- None of these things are curable. Do I get upset and angry that I am 30 and have these things - yes! I want so badly to feel good and be healthy. Am I struggling with my vanity - Yes!! Most of my body is covered with marks, which are healing as scars and it stinks! Am I scared that I might get them on my face - YES, terrified!! Could it be SO much worse -- yes, yes, yes!!!
-- I have a husband and three children and family and friends and a cat that love me. Who see me looking at my hands with worry and know just how to help me. I know that my attitude, whether good or bad will have a major impact on ALL of them. So I know I need to stay positive. I believe that despite everything, I love my life! I believe that prayer is powerful! I believe that continuing to share this creative journal for myself will help me stay positive, focus on what's beautiful, will keep me learning and growing as a creative person, will help me heal, and might inspire others like me! I believe that I needed to share these things today and I believe that everything will be o.k.
-- If any of you can relate and/or are dealing with Auto Immune disease please feel free to comment if you feel comfortable or email me at maureencracknell@hotmail.com I'd love to chat, learn from your own situation, offer support, or exchange yummy gluten free recipes!
-- My blog is not taking a big personal turn. I promise! Please keep following!! :) Your support, encouragement, and positive energy keeps me creating and blogging! I've got big plans for 2012!!
If you made it through all that. Thank you!! I feel a weight lifting and am so excited to get sewing today! I promise to have something new to share tomorrow!
Much love, Maureen
Are you still reading? o.k. here it goes...
-- Throughout these last two years, I found out that I will be living with a few different Auto Immune Diseases. I am on a thyroid replacement medication and a gluten free diet because of them. Now that enough time has gone by since I started my diet, I feel so much better. It's not an easy diet. If you are gluten free, you know this. But if you are gluten free due to allergy or intolerance of gluten, you know how much better it feels to be living gluten free. It's SO worth it!
-- I found out more recently that I have type 2 diabetes. It's not bad to the point where I need insulin, but I currently do need medication and have chosen to restrict my daily carb and sugar intake to almost nothing as a way to try to improve my status. I truly believe this will help!
-- And finally, I found out even more recently that my Immune System is attacking my own skin. "It" has a name, but to avoid any of you googling "it" and becoming horrified, I'll keep the name of "it" to myself. Why is this happening to me? We have no idea. We know it's not from the above. That's all. Which means lots of more tests for me. I have been on medication since Dec. 1st and the appointment I wrote of Monday was to see if it was working, or if I would have to begin strong Immunosuppressant drugs, as well. Which could/would be awful! My doctor said, in strange Dr. analogy talk, "It's chipping away at it now. If you go on the Cellcept or Cyclosporine, it will hammer at it, if you go on the Methotrexate, it will be like taking a sledge hammer to it. With stronger meds, comes much worse side effects. It's up to you." Me, "Chipping away is fine." :)
-- The good news, chipping away at it is working, maybe not as fast as the other options, but it's working and I am tolerating the medication just fine with few side effects. That might not always be the case, I'll revisit my need to change that every 30 days at a new appointment. Today, I take comfort in knowing that none of the things I have are contagious. I can continue hugging on my loves a little more than they like. I can continue to make my handmades and can continue to share them with others.
-- The bad news -- None of these things are curable. Do I get upset and angry that I am 30 and have these things - yes! I want so badly to feel good and be healthy. Am I struggling with my vanity - Yes!! Most of my body is covered with marks, which are healing as scars and it stinks! Am I scared that I might get them on my face - YES, terrified!! Could it be SO much worse -- yes, yes, yes!!!
-- I have a husband and three children and family and friends and a cat that love me. Who see me looking at my hands with worry and know just how to help me. I know that my attitude, whether good or bad will have a major impact on ALL of them. So I know I need to stay positive. I believe that despite everything, I love my life! I believe that prayer is powerful! I believe that continuing to share this creative journal for myself will help me stay positive, focus on what's beautiful, will keep me learning and growing as a creative person, will help me heal, and might inspire others like me! I believe that I needed to share these things today and I believe that everything will be o.k.
-- If any of you can relate and/or are dealing with Auto Immune disease please feel free to comment if you feel comfortable or email me at maureencracknell@hotmail.com I'd love to chat, learn from your own situation, offer support, or exchange yummy gluten free recipes!
-- My blog is not taking a big personal turn. I promise! Please keep following!! :) Your support, encouragement, and positive energy keeps me creating and blogging! I've got big plans for 2012!!
If you made it through all that. Thank you!! I feel a weight lifting and am so excited to get sewing today! I promise to have something new to share tomorrow!
Much love, Maureen
