Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Sometimes : :

project pile-up

So I've reached a point with this blog where I'm so behind on sharing things, I don't know where to begin each day. There's new quilts and fabrics and dresses and bags and more that are way too good not to share, but they require time from me to write about each of them and then more time in the busy daylight hours for me to photograph each, as well. I blame having to turn the clock backwards and losing that extra hour of sunlight for part of my missing posts here, but honestly I'm moving in slow motion these days. I feel so tired all. the. time. The long Quilt Market trip, combined with all the emotions that came with having my Dad's Memorial right after, along with some health issues I'm currently dealing with have completely drained me of energy these past two weeks. Feeling this sluggish plus guilty from not returning from my amazing trip hitting the ground running & ready to work needs to end, so I'm coming clean today. I'm tired. While I don't want to go into too much detail, I want to share that I recently had to stop taking my Thyroid medication to prepare for a Nuclear Scan I have to have later this month. If you look up the symptoms of Hypothyroidism you'll see what I'm dealing with. It's not fun. And I think knowing that no matter how this test turns out that I still have to have surgery is getting to me more than I thought it would. This has been an incredible year. So full of amazing blessings, personal and family achievements, so many dreams come true, and I'm so grateful for each of them. But with all the good, there's been a whole lotta bad. Most days I feel the comfort of knowing you can't have one without the other. I know life is most always bittersweet. But sometimes I get overwhelmed by the hardships, and I think this is just one of those times.

I know that sharing this little bit here will make me feel so much better. And so will indulging myself to a day of sewing up simple & sweet pillows for my sister. Off to do that now.  ♡  Maureen

121 comments:

  1. Hey…we all need to check out now and again. You're no different. :) You need to take care of yourself first…we'll all be here when you get back!

    Hope you have good news on your scan!

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  2. Thanks for your honesty. Being a follower of your blog, I totally understand and would encourage to go your own pace and don't worry about things right now. You're going through a ton of things, and taking care of yourself is important for so many reasons, and one of them being your children. I personally am willing to wait and see the things later. These are just things....it will wait. Hope your day improves!

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  3. You need to GIVE.YOURSELF.A.BREAK. You are in a very difficult season right now and you need your priorities to be your health and your family. Honestly, your body is telling you to do what you most need to do - rest. Your photo was lovely and you are creative and inspiring but honestly - you lost your daddy! Go right on ahead and grieve! You are having health issues - rest that body. Accept this big old hug from me. It's ok. The blog isn't going anywhere - sometimes you just have to rest. I will pray for you!

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  4. Maureen, you're so brave to be so vulnerable. First and foremost, I think that it's important to know that we love you and support you, regardless of how backed up you are or how low you're feeling. We're not going anywhere. We're human, we understand how it goes. Please, take care of yourself and your family first. That's where you live and love, where you get your strength and inspiration. Do what you need to do... The rest will follow. In the meantime, I'll be lifting you up in prayer.

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    1. Being vulnerable is so hard for me to do, but I'm beating myself up these days because all these amazing opportunities are right within my reach and I'm just not feeling well enough to do it all. I need to be creative, I need my sewing & this blog, I love it all so much, and I think part of why I feel so out of sorts is because in the past it's where I turn to stay positive and motivated despite the negative stuff, and I just can't seem to get back on track. I really hope I wake up tomorrow and feel a burden lifted, refreshed, and inspired. In the past opening up about my Autoimmune problems has really helped me so much, you all are always so kind and encouraging. Thank you!

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  5. Hugs Sweetie. As I always say to you... take care of you, we will still be here when you come back.

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  6. Your creativity just shows that you are blessed with inner joy, peace, hope, faith and love--even through the hardships. I think if I didn't have my crafty corner I would lose my mind sometimes! I have had a tough year after losing my mother, and then diabetes can just take away all my energy some days. But then I think just how the pure motivation and inspiration to stitch things and paint things and glue things makes me so happy it feeds me a new kind of energy and joy. I know you have that too as you inspire so many of us. Blessings! Sandy Leigh

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  7. Listen to your body and rest. You are dealing with a lot. Take a break. I have been thru the same thyroid issues. I understand how you feel. That has a whole lot to do with your tiredness. Take care of you. Your fans understand. Hugs and prayers to you!

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  8. Praying for you, Maureen. Being sick is no fun anyway, but when it's chronic and you have to be a mama and work and create, it's even harder. Hugs!!!

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  9. Sewing and creating has always given me joy my whole life. Even way back when I just created for the joy of creating for myself and friends and family. Give yourself permission to create for your soul, not for the world. Like a big tree in the winter, save your sap to keep your body strong. Spring will come again, and you can branch out and publicly bloom again. Decide to take a YOU vacation from the blog. We will still be here when you get back.

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  10. Maureen, I've had my thyroid out...and then radioactive iodine...had to go 6 weeks with no med to prep...I totally get where you're coming from. Hang in there and do what you can, and don't stress about it. I'm here if you need me...

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  11. Sending blessings your way :)

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  12. Breathe deep, exhale and relax. Take care of you! We will be here when you are able.

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  13. Just watching what you do on your blog and all you create, no wonder you're tired! Add health and life issues and it's a wonder you even post anything. Do what you can. Feel no guilt. It's okay to slow down and take care of yourself. I'll be thinking of you!

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  14. I really don't know how you do it all. I know you've shared that this is your job and so you work while the kids are at school and then sometimes late after they go to bed, but I still wonder when you get your rest or if you get enough of it. You've been an inspiration to me this past year with how much you make and how each thing is original. I admire your creativity but even more your positive spirit, and I imagine this was hard for you to write today. I trust that you will wake up feeling better and that in no time at all you will be back to doing what you love. I'll be thinking of you in the meantime.

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  15. Hello lovely Maureen, sounds like a frustrating exhausting time. Find one of your lovely quilts, snuggle up and rest. I love what you create but the creater is more important. God bless you and your family. Love from UK xx

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  16. Take care of yourself (and you don't need to apologize to us for needing to do that). Know that you have lots of love and positive thoughts sent your way. May you recharge, return to health, and enjoy the creative!

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  17. You are a strong beautiful woman and will get better with time. I am praying for you and I am here to listen if you need anything. :) I am excited to see what you have been making but you need time for you. We can wait. Hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving.

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  18. Sew for yourself. Take a break. We 'll be here when you get back.

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  19. Maureen, Listen to your body, it's the only one we have. I for one will be right here when you feel up to being back. I will however be praying for you and your family. Much love coming from Abbeville, Alabama!

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  20. Hello Maureen,
    I just wanted you to know that people are praying for you. People that enjoy your blog care about you. In your exhaustion and grief, along with concern about the scan and surgery you are feeling overwhelmed. You are not behind, you are right where you need to be right now. You need time with family. Be thankful and rest.
    Sincerely,
    Alice

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  21. I know how you are feeling regarding being tired from not being able to take your medication in preparation for your scan. It seems like every day you just lose more energy and get a little more depressed but remember that as soon as the scan is done you can start taking the medication again and it doesn't take long for it to start working. They just upped the amount I need on Monday and I'm already feeling better. I don't know what kind of surgery you'll be having but if they have to remove your thyroid take it from someone that had her thyroid removed 20+ years ago because of cancer that if you have to lose a body part it's the one to get rid of.

    Remember that what's going on right now and seeming to take forever is really just a very small amount of time when you figure it into your entire lifetime. I'm 100% positive that everything will work out and you will be back to your normal life very soon. I'm also positive that for every hardship we go through there are double the rewards so once this is finished you will be blessed with many wonderful things happening in your life. Feel better.

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  22. You can only do so much Maureen. We'll be here when you can post more. Take care of yourself....and eat some raw carrots everyday, they are good for your thyroid ;)

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  23. Hang in there. Your body knows what it needs in rest. Listen to it and give yourself the downtime that you need. Stressing about what you didn't get done will just increase the health issues. God only gives us what we can deal with at any one time. He also puts people in our lives to help us. One of the hard things is to allow those people to help us. Take care and rest. Everything will fall into place.

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  24. Take care of yourself and family, don't worry about us we are not going anywhere. I have to admit myself since July, 2014 life has not been easy for me. I had surgery and it all went great, the nurses took such good care of me and it was like a mini spa vacation for me.

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  25. Hi Maureen! Just sending you prayers and positive energy. I hope you are feeling better soon, take care. And please try not to feel guilty, it will drain your precious energy! You are awesome :)
    Melissa

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  26. Dear Maureen, I hope you slow down and take time to take care of your self and rest. We often forget that and just push ourselves to continue because the work never ends (especially when we have all the time more and more NEW ideas what we want to sew. Even sewing doesn't feel anymore so much fun if we feel all the time too much pressed with the time.
    If you have time, show us photos - no need so much writing - your Works are so beautiful that snap shots like this today make us all so happy and it's good just to hear how you are doing.
    Must be terrible time now without the medication. I hope your examination is soon to pass this. I'm so sorry that you need the surgery. Hugs and love! x Teje

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  27. Love and light for you. Be easy on yourself and on your heart.

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  28. Maureen, you and your family are more important than anything else. Please take care of "you". You are such a "giver" and a kind person, it is time for "you".
    Sending positive energy and much love, Sondra XXX

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  29. You hang in there Maureen. When things get tough, I try to remember that if there was no bad, we wouldn't recognize the good when it comes along. We are always here to listen, no matter what you need to say. Prayers for you.

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  30. Sweetie, it is no surprise that you are both physically and emotionally tired. And it is ok to admit it, and to take the time you need to take care of yourself. A very wise friend once told me, "You have to take care of yourself if you are going to be able to take care of others." So slow down and rest as much as you need, the fabric and ideas will still be there when you feel like coping with them.

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  31. I'm laughing hysterically at you because I'm the same kinda nuts. I'm also a full time doctor, have 3 small kids, a mom with cancer and a dad with Alzheimer's. I have dialed it back where possible but still feel so frustrated that I can't get to the things that I feel I need to do to keep the house running or even the commitments I've made. Forget friends, exercise, down time, creative time or fun. Fun, what's fun? This is unsustainable and I'm going to get sick or have a nervous breakdown - so I've started the prioritizing - recognizing I need to move my health higher on that list - even if it means I disappoint my kids or have to back out on a commitment here or there. Sounds like you have an unsustainable situation as well. How many hours a day are you really going to be productive while they make you really hypothyroid in prep for that radio nucleotide uptake scan? If you are heading for surgery what kind of preparation and support do you need for the recovery? Is the blog a source of joy? Make time for it! Are you feeling amazing pressure but feel you need to continue it? Blog once a week! We love your blog! We will hang in there with you!! This is a season for you and you will come through it but would like to see you not ground down to dust in the process 😘

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  32. *hugs* I hope your scan passes with no bad news. Perhaps it's time for regularly scheduled days 'off'.

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  33. Hang in there, Maureen! You need to remember that it's okay to be gentle with yourself and slow down. I'm so sorry you have to deal with these health issues and I hope with the tests/treatments you receive you will be feeling better. In the meantime, adjust your expectations of yourself and accept help from others. It's hard to let go of all the things you want to do, but be patient and take care of yourself :)

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  34. Please take care of yourself. We'll all be here for you when you're ready.Take one day at a time. . .

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  35. Dear Maureen, I'm kind of shy when it comes to leaving comments, but after I read this post I couldn't get you out of my heart. So many lovely, uplifting comments by so many wonderful people; and I thought what could I add? Well, I need to tell you that I suffer episodes of depression that leave me almost completely unable to move forward with what I need to do, and the guilt and shame I feel for not being able to function as I want to is just as incapacitating as the depression. And when it all passes and I am myself again, I deeply regret feeling so guilty and ashamed. I ask myself "Why didn't I just let myself be tired and depressed and allow it to pass without all the self condemnation?" You made me take another look at myself and my situation. When we aren't feeling right because of depression or illness why do we have to always keep moving forward, why not stop and rest a while? Because of you I have decided to really try harder to allow myself the time I need to get through each episode. To love myself and acknowledge that I have nothing to feel guilty for or ashamed of. I will try, and try. Please, don't do this to yourself. Love yourself and let yourself rest.

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  36. Hi Maureen. I love reading your blog and seeing the projects your create. I don't comment often, but decided to today. I hope that you feel better soon and that you take the time needed to rest and recover. I truly understand how feeling ill and having so much going on can run you down. I recently also spoke on my blog about a disease that I am battling. I always kept it to myself but putting it out there made me feel better, gave me the opportunity to share something about myself that so few knew. My sewing is usually me escape, but recently I haven't been able to do that as much because of the pain. Take all the time you need to rest and soon you will be back to feeling like yourself. I wish the best for you.

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  37. Remember even God rested on the seventh day so take your time to rest. As many have said we will be here for you and wait for you. Prayers for you.

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  38. Please take care of yourself first. I would love to see all the new stuff but I would love more for you to rest and take care of your health and grief. God's blessing upon you and your family.

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  39. Dear Maureen - thank you for sharing yourself with us - I have been conscious of how hard you work and how thin you must spread yourself - especially this year. The heartfelt loss of your dad will take a long time to deal with and is bound to affect you - especially when you are feeling less than 100%. I also know that the success of the Quilt Market was hard won - all the work that that involved must have been monumental. When I saw pictures of your booth I saw the clothes and other things you had made and was amazed at all the work you had done that we did not see on the blog. I have often wondered how all the bloggers make all the gorgeous things they make, take care of family, attend shows, teach classes, and still have time to write terrific blogs. I made pottery years ago and did the same thing, raised my family, taught classes, made my pottery, attended shows, took on commissions, and drove myself to do all of it until I collapsed and was forced to ease off. So, give yourself permission to ease off. I have not fully recovered because while I was so run down I contracted an immune disease and have been struggling with that ever since. I don`t have the energy anymore to do half of what I want to do and it could be depressing. I have come to terms with my reality (I am 65 now). Anyway, I am now grateful for what I can do, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone in how you feel about not being able to achieve all the goals and take all the opportunities there are out there for you. I was 33 yrs old when I became ill and so I am aware of how you feel. I have learned to be grateful for what I can do. For now I wish you the best of luck with your health - which must be the priority - and if you need surgery then you need surgery - acceptance is a huge step forward. Good luck with everything. Pauline

    perry94022 at hotmail dot com

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  40. Dear Maureen, as we say in the South, "Bless your heart, darling." Rest and do only what needs to be done. You are an amazingly gifted and generous young woman. It will all be there when you feel better. Heal, and heal some more. Hugs and love from Texas.

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  41. Just want to add to what everyone else has said. Please take care of yourself. Everything else will fall into place and, yes, we'll still be here when you are feeling better. You, and your family, are more important than "things!" So for this season it's very okay to back off from "doing" and take care of you. Love and hugs, sewnitter@yahoo.com

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  42. warm hugs and comfort to you, and a good night's sleep or two, or many in a row!

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  43. I so love your honesty! You've had a lot going on this year and then to have to deal with not taking your medication is even more!
    I've got Hashimoto's and I know how you feel. I'm dealing with no sleep lately (I blame it on the time change too) but end up dragging around at the end of the day.
    Sending you love and light to help lighten up your days. Keep sharing Maureen, I love your blog!

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  44. I had my thyroid removed more than 16 years ago and have been on the meds ever since. It wasn't cancer, but was moving in that direction. The meds are never a completely satisfactory replacement
    but that's what you deal with.
    The operation is no big deal. The only side effect I had was some upper toro muscle pain--as they practically stand on your head to do the op. My scar is non-existent--I was hospital only overnight.
    To stop the scar from showing you have to avoid the sun for several months. I wore a neck scarf on a trip to Mexico. A neck/throat surgeon does the job.

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  45. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way!

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  46. Oh Maureen, I so feel for you. I have hashis and cannot go off my meds. If I forget for a couple of days I end up in agony (joint pain) and exhausted. Even when I am on the meds I struggle with good and bad days. And it's an invisible disease that quite frankly, people can be heartless about. I am trying to build up the courage to try NDT instead of the synthetic meds but I'm terrified of what will happen if NDT doesn't work for me. Having said all if that I do find that quilting is a great career for this kind of illness as you can pick it up and put it down. I now factor my illness into my deadlines and have realised it's just my reality. I could go on and on about it but I won't bore you! I will suggest that you check out the book, "stop the thyroid madness" and there are lots of associated FB groups. A key thing for me was learning of the high correlation between gluten intolerance and thyroid issues and even those without gluten issues tend to have better thyroid function when they're gluten free. Anyway, if you want to chat thyroid let me know. Bisouses xx

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  47. I know I don't really "know" you even though I love your fabric and admire your sewing. Just wanted to know I think you're great. Life is often so unpredictable and that feels even worse when what you want to do and know you can do is not the same as what you can actually achieve. I hope the guilty feeling goes away fast since it doesn't sound like there is much you can do about what is happening around you and to you right now. Best wishes!

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  48. Just take one day at a time and do what you can.

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  49. Take a break Maureen until you recover. Just do what I call selfish sewing. Nothing you need to share with others. Don't be hard on yourself. I think that is one of the big faults us creative people have, that and guilt. Life throws us all hard balls at times. It just doesn't seem that way cos we only view others lives from the outside. Love and healing xx

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    1. I love that term, "Selfish sewing." I have been calling it "no guilt" but guessing you mean the same thing!

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  50. Peace be with you. Lots of sewing and family time too.

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  51. Sorry to hear about your troubles. If you haven´t yet, please check the Thyca website (www.thyca.org/) for a wealth of information, and if it ends up that you need indeed this kind of information, please join the ThyCa mailing list, the support provided is invaluable as you prepare and go through treatment. I know first hand what you are going through. Stay strong.

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  52. Take some soothing settling comforting time for you, doing something sweet for yourself ... and slow your pace down without guilt! I tell myself that when my ailments catch up with me also... Life happens! We have to adjust! That's no crime, nor anything to be sorry for... it just is :) Adapt, adjust, be nice to yourself, and ENJOY what you can :) HUGS!!! I'm a big fan of this is a
    "Be Nice to ME" week or month even, when needed :) So, be nice to YOU! No guilt!

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  53. Take it a day at a time and peace will be restored soon.

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  54. Take care of yourself and your family and everything will eventually fall into place. While we love everything you do to constantly inspire us, we love you more and getting that thyroid sorted is of upmost importance.

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  55. Sorry to hear that. You deserve a rest!! You are such an inspiration for so many people. Sending you a hug and best wishes!! Thank you for all you do.

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  56. I hope that you get the answers you need quickly and the rest comes easily. Sending good healing thoughts your way.

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  57. Living with hypothyroidism I know the feeling. My mother also had it and struggled for years before being diagnosed. I think we are all wishing you all the best, and I for one want you to remember that crafting and blogging is supposed to be fun and relaxing. If you are struggling at the moment, then do not put any more pressure on yourself, but take the time to take care of yourself. Your health means more than anything else! hugs and best wishes, Ylva (who has had almost a year of very little crafting due to the umph escaping me for various reasons...it is finally coming back:) )

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  58. You need some rest. Give yourself permission to do that. I've pushed myself to the point of burnout before --- and that is not a good place to be, physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Hugs.

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  59. No matter how many or how few things you choose to share, your creativity and sensitivity will always be a plus to my day...but if it is at the expense of yours...well, you just take care of yourself, and do what you gotta do, and don't do what you don't gotta do :) hugs and love!

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  60. Please rest. Get to feeling better. I shall wait for you to return.

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  61. Oh, Maureen.....please let up on yourself. The blog police will not arrive to drag you off to the pokey if you don't share with us. ;) We will miss you if you slow down but please know that first and foremost you must take care of yourself. Hypothyroidism is no fun! Personally thought I was dying before I was diagnosed almost 20 years ago. All I wanted to do was sleep and everything else could just wait. The only other time in all my years that I felt worse than that was when I had Mono at the age of 58!! OH MY GOSH!! Normal people have it during their teens and 20's but not me. That took almost 3 months to get over. At least you know that when you get to start taking your meds again you'll feel better in just a few days. Between you and I.....I hate days when I can not be productive doing the things I enjoy. Each day that passes as unproductive feels wasted. Like I'll never get that day back and I maybe could have done something great that day. I'm hearing a bit of that in your post today. Sometimes we just have to give in and tell ourselves it's okay if we aren't produtive. You need to do that. Give yourself permission. It seems that right now what you need most is rest. Let yourself rest so that you can come back feeling refreshed and renewed. Blessings and prayers being sent your way.

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  62. Maureen, It's always okay to take care of you. I too suffer from hypothyroidism and it's always a push to get moving, so I truly can empathize with you I find so much inspiration in your Blogs, but please rest . We can all keep reading past posts to keep us inspired. Now, I can't wait to shop for Wild and Free and share w/you for once, the beauty in your first fabric collection.

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  63. All is good...even when it's a little off. We've all been there. It's called LIFE!

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  64. Take care Maureen. You're in my thoughts & prayers! I see by the comments that you have a lot of support and encouragement...so good!. I hope your heart will be strengthened and encouraged in the days ahead!

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  65. You know Maureen that taking care of yourself is #1. Take a break for a while. We will love you anyway. Your health problems are no fun. Extreme fatigue really takes a toll on your body. When you are ready to blog, we will be waiting for you. Take some time for yourself.

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  66. You don't need to explain yourself. You DO need to take care of yourself!

    Try to get enough rest, do the things that make you happy, and embrace family. Everything else is secondary.

    Your are in my prayers and thoughts :-)

    Kaye

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  67. Maureen,
    The most important thing is that you take care of yourself first. The blog will be here when you have enough energy for it. Until then, we will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Don't worry about the blog. Don't worry about things that aren't important. Your health, your family -- that's what's important.

    Judy

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  68. Prayers for you and your family. I pray for guidance, support, and healing for you. You've already began with your honesty.

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  69. Take care, you are such an inspiration but it's time for and your family. We'll wait!

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  70. Just as everyone else is saying, take time for yourself and your family - we'll all be waiting for you whenever you feel up to coming back! Even having wonderful things happen for you professionally is a stress-inducing because you feel like you need to top what you have already done, so as fabulous as this year has been for you, it has added to the burden that you are carrying from the difficult parts of this year. Our prayers are with you and your family.

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  71. This post makes you all the more endearing. Thank you for sharing what so many of us are feeling, with all the pressures of life, family, illnesses and loss it's good to remember we aren't alone. I hope you'll give yourself a break, we will most definitely be here when you're feeling yourself again. Lots of hugs your way, xoxo.

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  72. Maureen, you have so many followers who love you and love your work! I can't even imagine what it must be like to suffer from an autoimmune disease and be so tired all the time. You must take a break when you need to. None of us are going anywhere. We'll still be here next time you post! It's too bad we all live so far from you because I bet you'd get enough home cooked meals for a few months and I'd come over to vacuum and do the dishes for you anytime! Good luck with the scan and surgery and I hope it is a step toward better days.

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  73. I have hypothyroidism, I know how difficult it is sometimes. It took 5 years for the docs to finally figure out that I actually do have a problem. All my blood test came back normal until they probed more and did a few specialty tests. UGH. It really sucks, and you will get through it. Reading a lot on hypothyroidism, people with it actually live longer than people that do not have it. It is because we go to the doctor more regularly to get checked out and figure out other problems faster than most folks. Also, with the meds we are on for it, it makes our system work like it should. :)

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  74. Maureen, keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there - and try to get some rest too.

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  75. I totally understand what you're going through. I've been struggling with hypothyroidism as well for the last couple years. The biggest thing that has helped reduce my symptoms has been changing my diet (less grains & sugar...paleo-ish). I hope you feel better... the brain fog and exhaustion are no fun!

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  76. Please take time for yourself..........get refreshed before attempting to update your blog again.

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  77. Sending hugs. Just.do.you.
    Take care of you until you feel better.

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  78. Give yourself a break and be kind to yourself, Maureen. Don't think about us - think about yourself and do whatever you need to do to feel better. And if that means a break from blogging, we'll all be here when you return. Good luck.

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  79. As one who has dealt with hypothyroidism for the past 22 years, I know what you're going through. Even with medication, there are times that it's not working like it should. Take the time you need and take care of yourself above everything else. When you feel better and feel like blogging again, don't try to catch up, just start from where you are. Sending hugs and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

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  80. I totally agree with Pam in IL. It's not a race start from today, this moment, this feeling. Now. That's all, we won't love you any less or expect anything more than what works for you. HUgs!

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  81. i understand what you are going through. i have Hashimotos and hyperthyroid. makes no sense that i have the two of them. the dr will get your meds right and regulate your thyroid. there are support groups on facebook. they say that cutting gluten might help if you have the joint/gut issues that most do.

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  82. I also suffer from hypothyroidism for about 10 years now the last2have been bad so depressed and tired all the time doc added hormone and several others and nothing my thyroid numbers are we're fine until this trip my family doctor added Wellbutrin 150 mg and helped a lot still get tired but can go thru day to day now things will get better when they get you lined out
    Diana y

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  83. Hypothyroidism runs in my family and I have suffered since my high school years! It can be managed and you will find the balance.
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